What motivates a person to want a relationship? Are you interested in people that are good-looking, smart, powerful, popular, rich, or famous? Are you a little challenged when you see others laughing and content with their partner? As human beings, we compress different emotions and everyday self-fulfilling prophecies to discover the question. What do we really want in a love relationship? I can only tell you what I didn’t want, after I got what I thought wanted, only to find out again I didn’t want that either. Like the ancient Ouroboros symbol of a snake biting its tail, round and round we go trying to find Mr. and Mrs. Perfection. Does perfection exist? If it does, how do we acquire it? What does it look like?
Valentine is coming up around the corner; the one day everyone wants this “perfection.” Do you have someone special making plans for you this valentine? Whether you are lucky or unlucky in love if you’re human, there is a person that is perfect for you this Valentine’s Day. On the off chance, you don’t get a date with a human. Women look to the skies, an alien could fall from the heavens like (Thor) that walks around with a big hammer. Men since you are visual creatures keep your eyes open for the blue woman, Mystique on X-Men this should suffice for a valentine’s date. It’s fantasy, but on February 14th open your hearts and look for lighting to strike.
If you decide to go back to the dating world, emphasizing on “world” means that we live in a mixture of good and bad people who make positive and indigenous choices. Stabilize your mind, and don’t be surprised if you pick a few bad apples from a tree. In life, you will experience the pain of losing love. Don’t let sadness go beyond your heart, or create fear to love again. Know that your core values belong to you, try not to compromise your faith in love, and wait patiently. Knowing that you’re either a follower or a leader, if you’re a leader, people will follow your path, if you’re a heart breaker, they will make others heartbroken, and so on. Choose to be a follower and make sure your leader is associated with compassion, humanity, empathy, and sympathy.
One-sided people only think about their side and strangles your life force. You are the giver, they are the recipient, and they can use their influence or status to make you feel guilty or unworthy as if they own your soul. When they go to work or go out for a day, you will find yourself happier and you can feel fresh air rushing into your lungs. Life gives us options to express problems in advance to prevent unwelcome passive aggressive emotions. Don’t wait months or even years in a relationship to say what you think. Use the white-out method, say sorry, try to change, don’t stew in anger, and escalate to rage. When others may not even know why you’re not happy. The Bible says beware of wolves in sheep clothing. Mathew (7:15 KJV)
Avoid people who use auto-corrections, you give your best but never seem to be able to do anything right in their eyes. Stay away from those who take life too seriously, away from complainers. Beware of people who never support your dreams or career goals. If you hang out with these fault finders, you’ll develop their characteristics, and one day, when you look in the mirror, you’ll become something you don’t like. If that sounds familiar, it’s not too late to get your life back, and you’re not the only one in the world. Educate yourself and study how people overcome difficulties.
Don’t sweat the small things and don’t be sour. If you lack the courage and strength to tell these people you want out of the relationship these are some early warning signs according to (Healthline.com)
“passive-aggressive behavior might include avoiding direct or clear communication, evading problems, fear of intimacy or competition, making excuses, blaming others, obstructionism, playing the victim, feigning compliance with requests, sarcasm, backhanded compliments, and hiding anger.”
Socrates said, we must know thyself, this feat is the most difficult because teenagers cannot understand themselves. Adolescence can only experience life, in stages. When we are older we experience the necessary hurt of broken hearts and disappointments that helps us choose the next relationship intelligently. Have you ever heard the phrase “Never again will I date a person like that?” Months later they fall in love with a “recidivist” who has similar qualities to their Ex.
Dating environment or hunting grounds must change, refer to the 1976 song by (Johnny Taylor) “Running Out of Lies.” A tree not only grows upward, its branches, in every direction. Don’t limit yourself to reconcile with someone you don’t really love. If you can’t find love, see the exquisite things in the world through travel.
Only after the storm will you know if a person is still standing with you or has walked away. Remember walking in the sunshine with someone is easy, there is no struggle, but walking through a storm with someone takes courage.
A pre-Valentine’s special, look for part two . Searching for Mr. and Mrs. Perfection on Valentine’s Day. February 14th 2021
Comments or questions, drop me an email: newfrank@dr.com
− Professional Storyteller and Writer
− First-grade Teacher with kids.
− Keynote Public Event Speaker.
Source References
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